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Saturday, July 18, 2009


Walking With You was created to help support those who have lost a child. They are a group who together share stories, helpful information, scriptures, encouraging words, prayer requests, and more. This week some lost baby moms who follow "Walking With You" are blogging about how they chose their baby's name and the special meaning behind the name. I learnt about this from Ella's mom's blog, and decided to join them this week. Deciding a name for a baby is a task that is time consuming. Like other new moms and dads, we too gave a lot of thought to what our baby would be called. After all our son would be stuck with this name for life and we wanted the name to bring him success and happiness.

Both Sunil and I poured over Indian names all day long and decided if we have a girl, her name would be Ida. We were undecided about a boy name. During our 14th week u/s, we found out we were having a baby boy. That time on, I saw Sunil surf the net for hours each day looking for a name for his son. Sunil read articles on numerology and sounds before deciding that the baby's name would start with the letter "A" and it would have even letters (4, 6, 8). We also wanted a name that would be easy to pronounce and one that would not be distorted by other kids at school. I really liked the name Aarush, which means the first rays of the sun. It had a soft sound to it and suited my child who to me was as pure as the sun's first rays. Also the first rays of the sun brighten the dark sky just as he was going to brighten our life. Sunil disagreed. He said "Aarush" was too common in India and too soft a name for his son. Sunil liked the name "Akul". "Akul" is another name for the Indian Lord of destruction, Lord Shiva. He is the destroyer of all that is evil. There is a story in Indian mythology that when the world was created, a pot of venom was found. If this venom was left unattended in the world, it would destroy the world. At this time Lord Shiva, offered to keep the venom in his throat to save the world. As Lord Shiva drank the venom, his throat turned blue and he was called "Neelkanth" i.e blue throated. This form of Lord Shiva, where he sacrifices himself for the good of the world, and has a blue throat, is "AKUL." We then googled the name and found that in Russian this name means "A Shark", in native American culture it is someone who is "looked up to" and in slang English it means "A Cool Kid." We had all our American born nephews and nieces say the name over and over again to ensure it will be easy for everyone to say in the US. I even asked my colleagues to pronounce it and asked if they thought the name "Akul" could be distorted. "Akul" passed all tests.

Little did I know that this name would come back to haunt me. As my baby lay almost limp in my arms, I noticed the blue tinge he had developed because of his brain bleed. He became AKUL of the blue skin tone. My husband remarked that we should have kept a more selfish name for our child and then perhaps he would not have had such a short life. However, I cannot imagine my "Akul" as having any other name. The name was meant for him.


  1. Oh God, I'm so sorry your son's beautiful name took on a meaning associated with death for you. My son also died of a brain bleed, he wasn't just blue, he was black. It's horrible, such an awful thing to see our children go through. I bet in the hours following Akul's death that his skin returned to a normal colour and he looked beautiful, even peaceful. I was amazed when Calvin died how his skin colour returned to normal after his death, and that he looked like he was merely sleeping....Hugs

  2. I love that you spent so much time researching a name that had such meaning. I'm sorry that it came back to haunt you. It is neat that I made Akul's butterfly blue without even knowing the meaning of the name. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Both names are beautiful, Aarush and Akul.
    I love their meanings.

    My twin who passed away, her name means 'of the earth'. I've also been haunted by the meaning of her name and wondering if I could have or should have given her a different one.

    But her name was her name. Just as Akul was meant to be Akul. His own sweet name. xo