That lost baby mom with compassionate tears in her eyes, her arms stretched out to hug another grieving mom - there she was.
A face I have been seeing all semester, chubby cheeks, bright shiny eyes and smiling lips. She sat in the fourth row and always smiled happily at me. She never showed a care... till today... she asked me, "Do you have any kids?' I have anticipated this question ever since I went back to teaching, but was asked this for the first time today and that too in front of a group of 12-13 students. "My baby boy passed away this year." Silence... and a muffled murmur "sorry" and then those glances from others there asking, "why do you have to ask such questions?" But you know what..I am glad you asked..I am glad you got to know the pain I carry in my heart when I smile for the two and half hours that I teach you and when I smile as you tell me you cannot come to class because your child is sick..and when I read your writing which is mostly about your child....I changed the subject..picked up my books and back to business.
Then during break she came to me her eyes filled with compassion, her hand reaching out to touch me...she came really close and whispered "I understand...you know I lost three of them...one in Mexico and two in the US." She reached out and held my hand. "Do you have any kids now?" I asked. She shook her head, "No, I have been married 13 years but have no child." She told me about her plans to do an IVF because she is now over 35. She said she has the courage to try again because her husband looks at every child with such love and longing...I sighed "Just like my husband." I told her I had no strength to try again ...I am no longer that young..another loss would kill me...she smiled her sweet sweet smile and said "We will both have our babies ... my mother in law had her baby when she was 48 years old..it is possible." She gave me a tight hug and said "happy thanksgiving...remember we will both have our babies."
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Those connections, when they happen, are just so amazing. I'm so glad you answered honestly which led to this beautiful moment.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I love that special connection, that only those of us who have been there get. Its good to be honest, and i'm happy you were brave enough to talk about Akul. You are stronger then you give yourself credit for.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
It never fails to amaze me how many of us are actually out there....What I don't understand is how I never realized it until I lost my son. I didn't know babies died. Now I'm learning too many of them die. So sad. So nice to connect with though in real life. Maybe she is right, perhaps you will both have your babies....One could only hope for you both. Hugs
ReplyDeleteOh, that is a beautiful moment between two babylost mothers. What a wonderful person to meet, Nimoli. I hope she's right for both of you. It's nice that both of you got to share about your children at break time. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet encounter. But also what a shame that there are so many hurting moms who silently carry their pain just like we do.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. xx
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful touching story. God has given you a dear friend. I will keep both of you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI hope that I can handle similar questions with as much grace as you did.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found an understanding soul. xo
That is amazing ans so sweet, that she reached out to you that way. I'm so glad you you answered the question putting your feelings first. That's the way it should always be.
ReplyDelete- Stephanie
There really is some special bond between all of us baby loss moms. I dont know what Id do without all of you out here in blogland. Its always a tough question but I too am glad when people ask because it gives me an excuse to talk about him other than on my blog. *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteThere is a bond between the babylost that transcends social norms. Usually you have to meet someone, get to know eachother, grow comfortable with one another. In babyloss world, the connection bypasses all that. It is instantaneous. Thank you for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteI have found that when you open up,answer questions honestly, someone always confesses the same to me. There are more of us than we know.
ReplyDeleteThis has happened to me just a few times, and when it does, I am amazed by how powerful it is. That connection. I mean, we connect from halfway aroudn the world with people we've never met-but when you meet someone in person. When you can see their eyes, see the pain. It's so horrible and so comforting at the same time.
ReplyDeleteIt must have been tough when you were asked that question. What a great connection you made though. It breaks my heart that there are so many of us that experience this pain and heartache.
ReplyDeleteAkul is so beautiful! The poems you have on this blog are so touching.
xo
I too have the desire for people to know. For them to see this load I carry, this burden I live with every day. And I am glad for a community of women who understand.
ReplyDeleteGod bless her.
ReplyDeleteI lost my 19 year old daughter on Aug 11th. And I too prefer for people to know she is always with me.