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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

How was your weekend?

So I came in to work this morning and was asked the usual question,"How was your weekend?"
If you want to hear the real answer, pull up a chair and sit down. I will tell you all about my sad, dreary weekend. I will tell you how I sat amidst a pile of laundry, papers, mail, and books because I had no desire to get up and clean. I will also tell you how I spent the entire long weekend doing nothing but reading blogs, writing comments and crying. You will know how conversations in our house never take place because we are just not interested in talking about anything. You will also know that when people lose babies nothing is fun. My life is not and will never be fun. If you need fun, go elsewhere. And please do not ask me about my weekend because you know that you do not want to be burdened with my answer.

13 comments:

  1. Honestly, I hate questions about how you are doing. I mean, do you REALLY want to know? I doubt it. So as usual, my answer is "okay". What else am I supposed to say?

    I'm sorry your weekend was so rough...mine was as well. I'm falling back in to the "no sleeping" phase of grief, the kind that I experienced on day 1. It sucks, i'm so exhausted. Physically and mentally that I think it throws all of my emotions in to overdrive.

    Thinking of you...*hugs*

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  2. I always hate answering that question or "How are you?". I always answer "ok" because how awkward would it be if I said "I'm not ok in fact I am miserable, depressed, tired and my eyes and head hurt from crying...how are you?". People don't really want to know the truth. Thats why I find that moat people do not even ask me how I am doing. Apparently barely 4 months later I'm suppose to be ok now.

    I want you to know that I truly and deeply feel that YOU WILL have "fun" again. Your life will one day be filled with hope and enjoyment. I do not "know" you but I KNOW what you are going through & I know from the core of my soul you will someday be happy. Why? You deserve it for enduring this. WE deserve it. We will never be over losing our precious babies but we will continue to move forward & I pray & wih for you that forward means moving towards happiness....one day.

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  3. Ok so I definitely didn't spell check that was suppose to say "most people" and "pray and wish"...I am using our laptop and I very much dislike this keyboard.

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  4. I HATE these questions. Coming back to school, I faced endless, "Did you have a nice summer?"
    UM? FOR REAL? Oh, yeah, it was great. Had so much fun.
    Today someone asked, "How's the year going? Were you bummed to come back?"
    Oh, no, I was super excited. Couldn't wait. Most fantastic year ever.
    It drives me nuts and makes me feel so angry towards them. I feel like I can't win!

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  5. (((Hugs))) to everyone. I cried at the children's new school today because the principal asked everyone who had a ***great*** summer to raise their hands - emphasis on GREAT - and my three boys looked sad and didn't raise theirs. It cut me to the bone. We've tried to have fun but I guess naturally they feel like we do (as my eldest said, "Losing our baby sucks."). It does. I guess it's too raw still. And I'm still not sleeping well either. Grief is hard work really, isn't it?

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  6. I hear ya, Nimoli. I'm sorry. I don't like it when people ask how i'm doing either.

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  7. I really dislike these questions too because I can not give an honest answer and tell the person what I really feel. And it feels like a disservice to my girls everytime the words. "I am fine" come out of my mouth, because I am far from fine since losing them. Big hugs to you. xx

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  8. ugh.. i hate that "how are you?" question. it's not so bad from strangers.. but i dont even want to lie to them.. i wanna say "i feel like rotten sewage, how are you?"

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  9. It's the hardest question, indeed. All I can say is with time, it does get easier to answer.

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  10. These social nicietes are a bit ridiculous aren't they? Why do we feel obliged to ask other people "how are you?" or "how was your weekend?", when we really don't want to know the answer, and why do we feel obliged to answer "fine, thank you" when we really are not fine at all. It's all so artificial and pointless. Such stupid meaningless human interaction.

    Obviously, I never want another baby to die, but if only everyone could experience the grief that comes with losing a child, even if just for a moment, so they could understand. Maybe then everyone would walk around kindly and sincerely asking "how are you?", wanting to hear the honest answer. Or at the very least, maybe people would not ask such questions unless they were prepared to listen to the honest answer.

    You're weekend sounds exactly like mine. (((hugs)))

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  11. Over the weekend I ran into a woman who I hadn't seen since the night before our tragedy - about 6 months ago. She knows the story and had sent me some sympathy emails. But when I saw her she asked, all chipper, "Hi, how was your summer?"

    There just isn't a good answer. I like the answer your head though. It's so honest. I wish I'd had the nerve to say it, or something like it. xo

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  12. Yes, I get irritated when people ask, but I know they don't really want to know because I can see the "burden" in their eyes. Perfect descriptive word. ((((hugs)))

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  13. Oh WOW, this is a great post & you have the most gorgeous site here. I had to stop by to leave this comment for you – and to say hello of course ! Your posts are creative and original and you have interesting pictures. It's all perfect ! Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes....

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