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Saturday, October 24, 2009

This Time Last Year

This time last year I was happily pregnant, convinced my lifa was about to change forever. I was in the second trimester of my pregnancy and was filled with happy hormones. Sunil was so full of joy and excitement. We exercised regularly and I was in excellent physical shape. I went for walks every morning and then on the weekends I spent a couple hours doing water aerobics or just floating and dancing around a heated pool. This was my special time with Akul. The pool was usually empty and I coud sing to my baby. I sang all the nursery rhymes I remembered in hindi and English. One day when I was singing "hush little baby, don't say a word...papa's going to buy you a diamond ring..." Sunil joined us. He told me he would not buy his son any "rings." He said his son will not want any jewellery...if it was a girl it would be different. So I rewrote the nursery rhyme.

Hush little baby, don't say a word
mama's going to buy you a singing bird
If your singing bird won't sing
Dad's going to buy you a basketball ring
If the basketball ring is too high
Dad's going to buy you a rocket that flies
If that rocket were to ever break down
You will still be the cutest little baby in town.

When they got Akul off the life support and put him in my arms, I sang this to him. It is his poem, but he barely got to hear it. My baby never got the chance to grow up. To me he will always be the cutest little baby in town.

15 comments:

  1. What a sweet little song. ((HUGS))

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  2. So sweet, and I know Akul just loved it.

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  3. It's just so sad. I haven't been able to sing since I lost Calvin, something inside me died along with him that day. I'm sure Akul carried your song in his heart all the way to heaven. Hugs

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  4. What a beautiful song. I'm sure he heard your voice singing to him and he knows that his mama thinks he is the cutest little baby in town. xo

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  5. How sweet. I love your song to Akul. That is something you will always have to treasure. I wish I had taken the time to do this for Bryston. Hugs!

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  6. So beautiful. I know Akul heard your sweet voice and could feel the love from you. What a special song.

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  7. keep singing to him.. he hears you now. i know it's not the way you wanted.. but he does.

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  8. what a sweet personalized way to sing him this song, I am so sorry that your little Akul is not in your arms. I think Akul heard you singing it then, and I believe he hears you when you sing it now.
    Peace xx

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  9. So very sweet. I like to think Akul did hear your song and remembers it well. xx

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  10. :( Beautiful, i'm only sorry Akul didn't hear it more. He did hear it when he was growing big and strong in your belly though. I'm sure as you sing it now, he looks down and smiles.
    Lots of *hugs*

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  11. I am so sorry. The song you sang with lyrics just for Akul is touching. So beautiful. So much love. Peace.

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  12. What a lovely, beautiful memory. I'm sure Akul still hears you, too. Sending you love and wishing you some peace.

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  13. Like Margaret I too have not been able to sing since I lost Akul.

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  14. That photo of Akil holding Sunils finger is so beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. ARGH this sucks so much

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  15. I'm so very sorry. Akul is and always will be a beautiful boy. And you will always be Akul's mama. Wishing you peace.

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